Wednesday, 11 March 2009

3. :: "scissors"

On the internet there are a lot of photos that show Andrew smiling and having a good time with other people. Andrew looks at these pictures regularly or semi-regularly. He is starting to believe that these things never really happened and that somehow, and for unknown reasons, a stranger has taken it upon themselves to construct these elaborate photographic lies with a computer or maybe just scissors and tape or glue. The only thing connecting Andrew with these pictures is his face and the locations he vaguely remembers. The other people in the photographs all appear out of focus and unrecognisable. A few of the people he can identify as 'old friends' or 'acquaintances' but there is no one on here that he has seen in months.

The browser window folds in on itself and then back out again like an oriental fan. Andrew clicks the mouse button a couple of times, slides the mouse just centimetres across the desk and the cursor hovers over the button which says 'Inbox (1)'. Double click. The second click was more for dramatic effect than out of necessity, a single click would have done the job just fine. There is a message there at the top of the page, it is from 'Jenbabe1979' and the subject line says 're:tonight'. Andrew clicks away pretty quickly and onto 'Spam (374)'.

It is somehow comforting to Andrew to know that there are so many people out there trying to sell him so many penis related products, or else a fake diploma or Japanese Rolex watches. This is commerce. The Spam filter on this email is a sign of what is really important to people. Sex, 'bling', and trying to appear cleverer than you really are. The benefit of the Spam filter is such that it does not allow you to take these easy paths, paths which will ultimately, probably, lead to you being massively out of pocket with nothing to show. Andrew also admires the seeming personal nature of some of these messages. They start "Hey James, it's Valerie, Brian said you'd call..." and then leads to some site selling generic blue pills by the bottle. Andrew thinks that if his name were James, and he had a friend named Brian who had set him up with a girl named Valerie, then he would definitely save this email.

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